One of our members shares their library's experience navigating a difficult situation and some tips and takeaways that might help others.
We share a lot about the resources out there to share with teens who may be struggling with mental health, but what do you do when a staff member calls you to say that a teen has posted a status saying they are suicidal? Or you notice the warning signs in one of your teens? This is what recently unfolded at a rural northwestern library when a library assistant who runs a virtual teen program saw one of her teens post a suicidal status on their shared messaging platform.
First, the library assistant reached out to the teen. She asked them directly if they were thinking about suicide. She told them she was worried about their safety and let them know that she was there to help. At this point, she looped in her supervisor for support on navigating the situation. The library assistant messaged the teen phone number for the Trevor Project and National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. From there, she was paying careful attention to how they responded. In this situation, the teen messaged back and told the staff person that it “wasn’t their problem.” This response was the catalyst for the assistant and her supervisor agreeing that it was time to contact the parents.
Involving the parents may seem like a logical first step, but in this case staff was treading lightly because the teen identifies themselves with a different name and sexual orientation with the online group than with their parents, and that this played a role in their emotional turmoil. So, the conversation was kept fairly surface level – the library assistant shared the text of the post she had seen, as well as some behavioral issues that had been happening in the teen game night, and offered the parent resources. Luckily, in this case, the parent was very receptive and concerned, taking the post and their child’s behavior seriously.
After this, the library assistant followed up with the teen again, letting them know the library was there if they needed anything. It was radio silence for a few days, and the supervisor volunteered to monitor the online chat over the weekend so that the library assistant could take a healthy step back. The teen came back to game night the following week and seemed to be in a much better place. The library assistant followed up with the teen again in a private chat, they had a great conversation about support systems and asking for help.
Some key takeaways:
- Make
sure that you are asking the suicidal person directly if they are going to
hurt themselves.
- Let
them know you are there for them, in a completely non judgemental way, as
well as sharing the contact information for the amazing professional
resources that are out there.
- Remember
to give yourself a break - this is really hard stuff, so set boundaries
with yourself on how much time you’re going to spend thinking about the
situation.
- Have to trust that parents are going to step in, and if there are a lot of indicators that this isn't going to happen, identify other community resources who can step in.
We can be great ally’s for teens and that requires preparation on our part for some tough conversations! Familiarize yourself with local resources and have a conversation with administration and library staff about how to handle a situation like this in your library.
Learn more about helping a suicidal teen here:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/how-can-you-help/
https://www.bethe1to.com/bethe1to-steps-evidence/
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