Lindy Liedl from the Rice Lake Public Library returns with her monthly column on all things virtual to help you connect with your teen patrons!
Providing an online space for teens to chat with each other can provide some tricky situations, but having clear boundaries and resources helps make things safe and welcoming for everybody who joins in. Teens generally respond well to choices and fair consequences.
Setting up Rules:
When setting up our teen Discord server, the very first step was to create a list of rules. I mainly followed the example of other servers with a warm atmosphere. Outlining some specific no-no’s and just basic internet etiquette tips was the aim. Our rules are the things expected in-person at the library as well: No images with nudity or gore, no swearing, have respect for others, and no bullying, racism, or other hateful speech. Things have been smooth since teens joined the server last spring. It helps that those we started with were respectful and gracious already. One hiccup this summer was when a new teen on the younger end of our age range shared an image having to do with a kermit the frog joke and an automatic weapon. It was harmless in intent, but I took it down, explaining to him that it wasn’t really library appropriate. He understood and has been more on-the-level since. This influenced the addition now included in our rules about guns.
Keeping Consequences Fair:
Mistakes happen! I always give teens the benefit of the doubt, and second chances. They are impulsive and don’t have fully formed brains yet after all. When the image incident happened, one of my older, and very responsible, teens messaged me asking if this kid should be allowed to stick around. Yep! He made that mistake and had a clear boundary to follow now. With everyone sharing jokes and funny images all the time, it just wasn’t a line we had established yet. I’m glad I didn’t boot him out because he’s been so good since. That being said, if someone were to continue being inappropriate after a warning, I would give them a one-on-one message conversation and two warnings altogether before going for the “ban” button. At the end of the day, I want them to be part of a welcoming server with a bunch of kids sharing their interests, hobbies, and laughs–As long as everyone’s boundaries are being respected.
Help Resources and a Place to Vent:
After rules, the second page created on our Discord server was a spot filled with help resources. (Pictured) Mainly helpful links and counseling resources from our area, but also general, get-your-questions-answered sites like Go Ask Alice. I tried to provide a short description for each so that kids know what they’re opening if they’re looking for something specific on this page. The “disclaimer” at the top of the page was added after I realized a lot of the links say “helpline” or “call” and kids might assume an automatic call would be placed with someone just by opening any link. I hope they feel safe enough to poke around any of these, but help resources are pretty commonplace in Discord servers…so they might think every resource page is the same. Who knows! But it’s better that we have them than not at all. I also regularly remind them that they can message me privately, or send me an email if there’s something they feel like talking about.
Alongside our resources page is another called “Venting and Mental Health” where kids are invited to share personal news, stressful situations, or discuss mental health topics with others. For example, there’s been both discussions about ADHD and autism, but also about the news of a famous You-Tuber’s recent death. The only disclaimer I added into this page was asking them not to diagnose each other, but to seek out a professional for such information. They’ve been very respectful in the space.
Our teen Discord has been very rewarding in getting to know our teens in the area, and in providing that welcoming space that can be difficult to find in the area. Even if they’re not comfortable in our physical teen space, they can always reach out to others virtually on Discord.
Our Welcome and Rules page on Discord
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